Since my husband's death almost a month ago. I did a lot of things that I thought would heal my heart fast. I moved to my home country in 2 weeks time and started putting the kids back to school. I went to church to ease my burden, but I didn't feel like it was the right time to talk to Him. You would see me laugh, but as soon as I stopped laughing, I would feel really sad right away.
For 6 years that my husband and I has been together, we never had dull moments. We liked being together and doing things together all the time. Our friends can prove how we love each other. And now that he's gone, I am still in denial. Tears want to run down my eyes but I try not to cry anymore. And it hurts!!! It hurts not to cry. I'd still tell myself that this is a dream....a very bad dream!
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreams. Show all posts
Tuesday, 23 November 2010
Sunday, 31 October 2010
What's next?
Since I was a teenager, I love reading books about astral projection, telepathy, the sixth sense, third eye and life after death. But what is the real truth about life's mystery? Does anybody really know? Do we really have control on what we want to happen to our future, or what we want to achieve?
I just lost a loved one recently. I lost my partner, my team mate, my soul mate, my lover, my best friend, my husband and father to my kids. I cannot describe the pain I'm feeling inside of me. I know that the pain I'm feeling is so much different from the pain that other people are feeling. Why? Because we share a lot of things together. We shared one dream, one love and we said words that only the two us will understand. We played, slept, dream, cook and eat together. We talked about things that other people may find weird. But we loved each other.....and I still do!!! How can you forget and not love a person who has so much love from him....so much love, that he even spent his last hours and minutes with me.
But what really happens to us after death? Do we still feel anything at all? Do we still know who we are? And do we still know our families and loved one?
The moment that I found my love on the physical level, I closed my eyes and tried to look for him in the spiritual level....I tried to find him and I know for sure, that I'm trying to pull him back to me. But that force is so powerful that I had to let go. I didn't have enough power to hold that....it's something like a force. Then, I saw him talking to a male figure, and my love was smiling. I didn't give up....I tried to call him a thousand times, but he wasn't around.
I just lost a loved one recently. I lost my partner, my team mate, my soul mate, my lover, my best friend, my husband and father to my kids. I cannot describe the pain I'm feeling inside of me. I know that the pain I'm feeling is so much different from the pain that other people are feeling. Why? Because we share a lot of things together. We shared one dream, one love and we said words that only the two us will understand. We played, slept, dream, cook and eat together. We talked about things that other people may find weird. But we loved each other.....and I still do!!! How can you forget and not love a person who has so much love from him....so much love, that he even spent his last hours and minutes with me.
But what really happens to us after death? Do we still feel anything at all? Do we still know who we are? And do we still know our families and loved one?
The moment that I found my love on the physical level, I closed my eyes and tried to look for him in the spiritual level....I tried to find him and I know for sure, that I'm trying to pull him back to me. But that force is so powerful that I had to let go. I didn't have enough power to hold that....it's something like a force. Then, I saw him talking to a male figure, and my love was smiling. I didn't give up....I tried to call him a thousand times, but he wasn't around.
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