No words can comfort me...

You might see me smile, hear me laugh and hear me say "I'm okay"...but I'm not.
I want to go to a place where I could scream and cry out loud....
I don't want to hear Christmas songs....
and I don't want my friends to hug me, because I know I'll burst into tears
I want my kids to see me strong in this kind of situation I am now
I'll find time to cry....
When?
I really have no idea
So my friends, please don't hug me....it just makes me feel weak.

If I had Known....

If I had known what's gonna happen tomorrow...
I could have stopped the time.
If I had known he won't be with me the next night...
I shouldn't have slept anymore.
If I had known that he wouldn't be with me this Christmas...
I could have told him to be with me every second and every minute.
If I had known what's gonna happen...
I could have changed a lot of things.
I could have turned back the hands of time
I could have told him how much I love him every second
I could have stayed awake all night
I could have talked to him longer
I could have touched him more
If I had known.....I could have changed the future.

What's next?

Since I was a teenager, I love reading books about astral projection, telepathy, the sixth sense, third eye and life after death. But what is the real truth about life's mystery? Does anybody really know? Do we really have control on what we want to happen to our future, or what we want to achieve?

I just lost a loved one recently. I lost my partner, my team mate, my soul mate, my lover, my best friend, my husband and father to my kids. I cannot describe the pain I'm feeling inside of me. I know that the pain I'm feeling is so much different from the pain that other people are feeling. Why? Because we share a lot of things together. We shared one dream, one love and we said words that only the two us will understand. We played, slept, dream, cook and eat together. We talked about things that other people may find weird. But we loved each other.....and I still do!!! How can you forget and not love a person who has so much love from him....so much love, that he even spent his last hours and minutes with me.

But what really happens to us after death? Do we still feel anything at all? Do we still know who we are? And do we still know our families and loved one?

The moment that I found my love on the physical level, I closed my eyes and tried to look for him in the spiritual level....I tried to find him and I know for sure, that I'm trying to pull him back to me. But that force is so powerful that I had to let go. I didn't have enough power to hold that....it's something like a force. Then, I saw him talking to a male figure, and my love was smiling. I didn't give up....I tried to call him a thousand times, but he wasn't around.

Stay-at-home-mom

I want to earn while being stay-at-home mom. So everyday, I try to look for ways to earn money online. One website that caught my attention is this.

http://d181d2n456p-oq4-krwnwf0y0a.hop.clickbank.net/

I gotta try this today and will post for some update.

I think this is a good deal. For just $38, it would help me lose weight.

I need to lose weight

I've been successful in losing weight before. Then, there will come a time that I'll just say "I'm good, I lost a lot of weight now, so I'm ready to eat my favorite food." And guess what???  I'll start eating again...limitless....
Talk about breakfast, I'd start my day eating a cup or two of rice with vienna sausage or maybe sardines the next day. For lunch, another cup or two of rice with whatever I'd cook for the family. Pork chops, fried chicken, pasta, afritada or whatever that comes in my mind.
At 3:00pm, I'll start digging in the pantry for a snack. Hmm, peanut butter sandwich please....not just one, but two sandwiches.
Then at about 6:00pm, I need to eat again. Non-stop huh!!!
The other day, my hubby came home and gave me a bottle of Acai berry. I gotta try it. You'll all be my witness for my weight loss. Right now, I'm at 116lbs. And I'm gonna start taking Acai berry today. Let's see what happens

Need to finish reading "The Lost Symbol"

My hubby bought Dan Brown's new book (The Lost Symbol) 3 weeks ago. The story is interesting and I always imagine myself in the character of Chief Sato. I wanna finish this book as soon as I can. After visiting Rome last month, and checking out the 'must-see' places there, my next wish is to visit Washington D.C. Oh but I just remembered what my hubby told me after our trip to Rome...he wants to visit Greece next. Then we gotta save now for our next trip.